Thoughts & Emotions
Sometimes we feel unsafe or insecure because we encounter a genuine threat or danger (which could be physical, psychological and/or emotional). In these instances it is appropriate for us to experience difficult emotions and feelings such as fear, tension or anxiety so that we can take immediate action to avoid harm.
However, for different reasons, we may have this same experience when there is only the perception, rather than the reality of a genuine threat or danger. As a result, the following issues are likely to arise :
- we experience intense, distressing or painful feelings and emotions and therefore wish to remove ourselves very quickly from direct awareness of our bodies and our present experience.
- we adopt narrow thinking and make judgements about the situation (ie good and bad, right and wrong, should and shouldn’t) that quickly shift our attention away from difficult sensations and emotions.
- we distort reality through the biased lens of our past experiences, beliefs and habitual patterns leading to false or incomplete conclusions.
Matching or patterning our current experience to previous experience from the past can therefore create ongoing cycles of distress if the match is not appropriate or accurate.
Our brain and central nervous system react so quickly that we can suddenly find ourselves spiralling into difficult thoughts and feelings that can lead to unskillful behaviours (ie manipulation, excessive control, aggression) in an attempt to return us to feelings of safety or security. Unfortunately these behaviours often lead to negative or damaging outcomes (ie isolation, rejection, illness).
We need skillful method that allows us to notice these patterns and remain aware of our bodies and our direct experience of the present – even when it feels very uncomfortable or painful. This allows room for the emergence of discernment rather than judgement, the exploration of accountability rather than blame, and the practice of skilful behaviours such as open expression and dialogue rather than unskilful acts such as aggression and manipulation.
